Dear LPG,

I am not trying to depress all the LPG readers but I wonder if anyone else is typical of me? 

I am getting older (aren’t we all) , but lately I am feeling it more.  I think it is the aches and pains that have gradually got worse and the fact that too many of my friends are disappearing more quickly these days.   One has recently moved away to be nearer to her family and another had emigrated, and I can still telephone, but it is not the same. They are friends that I used to really be able to talk to, not the ones that I would have a casual chat with every now and then, and I know that I am not the only person who is going through similar experiences.

I think that the answer is to make new friends because the alternative is to not go out at all, except to the shops and there are not many opportunities to make new friends there.  When I was younger there was a lot more going on in my life with work and family, and I think that the winter months can be a time when we are tempted down that slippery slope of just staying at home for days on end. 

 I have never really been that good at making new friends and the thought of walking into a situation where I don’t know anyone and starting a conversation is one of the most frightening I can think of, but now that spring is here and the evenings are longer again, I think that I have to bite the bullet and do something.   I think that, as old as I am. I am still really worried about what others think about me and managing to make a bit of a fool of myself more than anything else, but I really don’t want to end up alone.

I have been looking at the internet for a little help about the best way to successfully start to make new friends and all the advice points to finding a social club,  joining a group where people have similar interests to yours or finding yourself in places where there are lots of other people who are likely to be as worried as you are about being alone. 

But when you have got that far then what?  I was particularly looking to find out how to start a conversation successfully and I have learned that there is quite a lot of science behind successful ways of doing this. 

Some of the information I have found is American and focuses on younger people trying to be successful at work and in boy/girl relationships, but I think that the same rules apply whatever age you are and no matter what kind of friendship you are looking for, so I hope that even though one of  the two videos I have asked LPG to share is a bit technical and appears to be aimed at young people, they may help if there are any readers out there who have similar concerns to me.

VT, Bellingham

VT offers these videos…

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LPG also found a leaflet which is aimed at older people.  It has been compiled by an organisation which aims to help older people find friends and might be a helpful read. 

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