Dear LPG, 

I think that as we get older many of us get a little more negative about the way our lives are going.  It is also a fact that more opportunities occur in our lives where we have time to stop and think about our present situation and, while I am sure that that thinking process must produce varied thoughts on many subjects, I have to say that I have become preoccupied with my life in general and if I am happy with where I am up to.

The answers to that question can lead many to depression, which is not a good thing, so I think that part of the evaluation takes me down the road of what I have done with my life so far while the other most pressing variable has to be about how content I am with who I am.  I believe that every now and then we should each ask ourselves if we are happy with the life that we are living.  

It is a very big subject and we can only answer for ourselves really.  Each of us is different. So the next part of the process has to be to ask oneself, ‘What our personal version of a ‘good life’ is and how far we are away from having achieved that level of contentment with our life in general, in short, in a  perfect version of this world what would we like to be doing right now.

One way to do this is to look at our circumstances and work out with the help of a ‘good and bad’ list just exactly how we rate ourselves when it comes to life achievement.  This is the bit of paper that you fold in half so that you can list all the positives in one column and all the negative aspects (of things that you would like to improve) in another.  I always categorise  and work through the pros and cons of my life from the perspectives of; hobbies and things I want to achieve, my finances, my health, my relationships with family and friends, what I do for fun and what I am doing to help the people around me. 

If there are more good things on the list than bad ones you are very fortunate, but whatever the outcome there should never be too much time spent on complacency.  So, there is then the need to look at the negative list and start working out how you can change it for the better, although it is worth remembering that there will always be some things that are beyond your control.  Focus on the things you can change and work through them a little at a time.

One of the most important life rules I have learnt is that the day we stop striving for something is the day there is no point in staying alive, so my advice is…

Keep striving!

OH, Honor Oak Park