Dear LPG,

I want to ask a question to the LPG readers who, like me have problems pronouncing people’s names.  Over the years, we have become such a cosmopolitan mixture of people with routes and histories that stem from so many parts of the world, that I have to say I find it so difficult to pronounce the names of some of the many friends, acquaintances and family members that I come into contact with.

Here is a question… is your experience often similar to mine? 

When I meet a person for the first time, and they introduce themselves, I usually find myself in a setting where there is lots of background noise.  During the initial introduction, whether a third party adds their name to the conversation or the person you meet pronounces their own name the first time you hear it, it often gets said so quickly that I am lucky to get the gist of the name let alone the true pronunciation. 

That name is never just said either.  If it were the only thing that is said at the time the conversation would not be worth having, so we go onto talk about the weather and how we are enjoying the gathering with the result that we are lucky to remember the name let alone its pronunciation.  Then let us just spare a moment to think of those that don’t hear that well, something that often happens as we get a bit older which can complicate the whole thing even more.   

When you meet that person again and there is no one there to help you what do you do?  If you are like me, you do your best and most probably get it wrong, which can provoke a short corrective pronunciation lesson.  Now I feel a bit small for forgetting and resolve in future to avoid the name altogether for fear of getting it wrong again. There is one particular person that has had that effect on me which is a shame because her name has become ‘Excuse me’ every time that I address her now…  

Then, if you see that person again often enough you get the name right and make a new friend, and then their birthday comes round.  Do you, like me, rush out and buy a birthday card for your newly acquired friend before finding your pen hovering above the paper and yourself having a stress-session about how to spell the name correctly?  

You would think that all this happens with the exotic names of your foreign friends but there is so often more than one way of saying and spelling even the simple ones.

I took a look at the internet and a lot of the information there is from the USA and implies that you are diminishing a person in some way by not getting a name right even if it is simply that you emphasise the wrong syllables.  That was a teacher talking about the mispronunciation from her student’s point of view.   When I was young, there were less unusual names to remember in the class and you were happy to be called at all.  I remember a teacher who would point and just say ‘You!’ when wanting a student to stand and explain something, but these days it is all about the children!  

As far back as I can remember, and to this day, every time I am asked my name, or introduce myself, I have always said, ‘I answer to ‘oi’, but my real name is (and I am not going to tell you what it is now…)’.  

 I hope that I am part of an age group that is old enough to base my friendships and relationships on more important credentials than if the other person can say or spell my name right!

VL, Brockley

VL shares some information on this subject…

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