Dear LPG,

Perhaps my thinking here relates to those pensioners who live alone today, but It occurs to me that we older people do need to be reminded again and again about the fact that we need to look to the future while we are busy getting on with the present, and the time to be mindful is now, however young and self-sufficient we think we might be.

I was talking to my children about this very subject recently and, like so many they are all in their early forties, in families where mum and dad are busy with their lives while they both work full time and bring up their children, and when things are so full on there is little time to do much more than try to keep on top of day to day living in their world.  I have to really work at remembering just how chaotic that part of my life was but I do remember that retirement was the last thing on my mind and thinking ahead was all about the financial aspects of the thing.  I have to say that my life is still really quite busy too and so the fact that I don’t see as much of them as I would like to, is regrettable but not that upsetting to me while I get out and about with friends and pursue many of those hobbies that I could not while I was a worker.

I suppose that I am a member of the middle generation in my family, and many of my parents’ generation are still doing their thing and I see the younger ones too.  I think that watching a family member from that older generation suffer the effects of dementia was the thing that really got me to thinking about how quickly life circumstances can change. I think when you see how quickly the effects of mental and physical disability can change someone that’s close to you, you begin to realise that there is a likelihood of it touching your life too.

So the question that I want readers to consider is this.  What would you like to happen to you if you become unable to continue your present lifestyle and look after yourself?   There are basically three ways to go.  You might be lucky enough to have a child or relative that can dedicate the time to be with you, you might find that life is still getting in the way for your children and that they make the decision that you end up in a care home, or you could have 24/7 care at home if you have a home with some equity that can be released to afford that.  

Perhaps whatever you would prefer needs to be talked about with your family now, while you have the capacity to make your own decision, and once you have made that you can forget it all and get on with your life…

 QK, Lewisham.