Dear LPG,

We have all had so much more time to do things that we wouldn’t normally do for quite some time now and reading LPG on my phone has become one of my daily lockdown habits during the past year.

I like writing and have promised myself that I would make doing that my mission for the day on so many occasions in the past year.  I find that I often read something which fires my imagination but, by the time I get up, have breakfast and prepare, all the thoughts I had when I was reading in bed have well and truly left me. 

But today was different because I have an idea.  I have noticed that a lot of the LPG writers are inspired by the many celebrations that each day brings with it and, with a little Googling, I have found one which fired my imagination today.

Did you know that among other celebratory names, today is National Awkward Moments Day and I am sure that we have all had a few of those?  So, with that in mind I would like to tell you a story about an awkward moment that I witnessed, rather than experienced ,when I was about 13 years old…

You need to picture the scene…

My 13-year-old self was sitting at the dining table while my mum was doing some ironing.  It was coming up to the end of the summer holidays and our budgie was chirping away in his cage.

Our dining room had two doors which were opposite each other and suddenly my younger brother burst through the one that leads to the hall and was gone through the other which leads to the kitchen so quickly that both my mother and I were surprised.  We could hear him filling a cup with water before he carefully made the return journey at a much slower pace.  He was very careful to make sure both doors were shut as he entered and exited.

My mum and I looked at each other questioningly for a moment but then continued each with the task we were in the middle of.  A minute or so later it all happened again. My mum asked what was going on but he was in too much of a hurry to hear on his first journey and too busy concentrating on keeping the water in the cup to answer on the way back.  It was when it happened the third time that we decided to investigate and thank goodness we did.  We followed the cup of water through the hall door only to find a small fire under the stairs.  It did have the potential for a lot more damage than it managed to produce and our mother dealt with it quite quickly.

But here comes the awkward bit; when asked how the fire started my beloved brother told us that his version of ‘Doctor Who’ (him) was in his version of ‘the Tardis’ (the cupboard under the stairs) but to be able to see he had taken a candle with him.  I don’t think that I need to explain any more. 

It would never have happened today because most under-stair cupboards have their own light, and even if it didn’t the torch on his mobile would have provided the light without the fire (I suspect that he would have had one, nearly all our grandchildren get one once they get to secondary school these days).  I will tell you that it was pretty awkward for him.  Mum and I watched as he was trying to explain what had happened to our somewhat old fashioned dad who was quite strict.  I can’t remember what the punishment was, but the good thing about most awkward moments are that they soon pass into our history and become a life-memory to smile about.

Now that we are both sexagenarians rapidly heading for seventy, my brother and I often laugh about it.  I hope that he still will when he sees it in print…

 OT, Forest Hill