Dear LPG, 

I have to admit that I have become one of those people who have been left less enthusiastic about going out since the pandemic kept me home for all that time.  Most of the people I know live a long way away from me and I have learnt to feel more comfortable talking to them on the telephone than I do in face-to-face situations.  

Like most of us I do go out, but the club that I used to attend before it all began was the place that I used to look forward to being, and now that we can go out again, it is no more.  I also seem to walk more slowly and get puffed more quickly than I remember.

All these things can put a person off making the effort to leave the house more than they have to I suppose but, unless shopping online is something that you have mastered, there is no choice.

They say that we should all make a point of getting out of the house because keeping in touch with the outside world is one of the vital ways to maintain better health, and I recently read online that not doing so can have a very negative effect on life itself, but I find that even a trip to the shops can be a lonely thing to do.  

It is just a short walk to my local shop from where I live and, once I get there, I know what I need to buy and which isle to get it from, so I rarely need to ask a question.  The automatic check out, where the only chat you are offered are computer generated sentences with instruction and voice quality which never alter and in my view, add insult to the so-called art of meaningful conversation.

 
But I have learnt to use an age-old trick that really works and that is to offer a smile to anyone with whom I manage to make eye-contact with as I make my way down the road.  I found it quite embarrassing at first, but the truth is that the responses you get back, can at the very least, make you smile inwardly as well as outwardly.

I suppose the problem is that I am an older man and when a lady smiles at you as you are passing it is all good, but we old men can be construed as needing to have one more attribute thrown at us as we smile at ladies or children or even other men as they pass us.  The adjective I am alluding to is ‘dirty’!

But the good thing about smiling at someone is that the reactions to yours can be quite varied.  I have experienced everything from the ‘who does he think he is smirking at’ smirk, to the response where the person offers a throw-away comment that provokes a short conversation with the result being one new friendship, and a few middle-ground, ‘Hello and how are you today’ ongoing conversations that happen as I pass people I now recognise.

I would suggest that this is an experiment to try during the daylight hours, and I know that learning how to smile successfully is an art in itself, and my final bit of advice is, if you catch a young child’s eye, be sure to offer a smile to the parents as well.

I have concluded that a smile habit is good for the face muscles, lifts the spirits (whatever the response), and it is one of the few ways to make contact in these days of electronic conversation, where you can still offer one anonymously without having to share any more about your identity (that is as long as you have not been caught on a CCTV camera). 

SU, Bellingham

SU has found a few pointers for those who need to practice their public smile…

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