Dear LPG, 

I am sure that other contributors might have a few words to say on this subject, but friendship is one thing we all need even more of as we age.

I read a bit on the internet, and, of course, their advice is nearly always designed for people much younger than us oldies, but the person I think of as my best friend is someone I have known ever since I was four years old.  I remember meeting her on that first ever day at school.  Most of us have seen that scenario from both sides of the coin at least once by the time we become a pensioner. 

We have been the vulnerable little ones whose mum or dad got us all dressed up in that crisp new uniform and then delivered us to the school gates before walking away and leaving us all alone. The grandmas among us have, more than likely, also been the mums who delivered their child for the first time and then found their walk away from school and their little one on that first morning, one of the most challenging journeys they ever had to make.

My best friend and I started school together, and we both went on to attend the same secondary school; although the different subjects we took left us with less time to be together, music was the thing that made us inseparable.  It was so long ago that we were avid Beatle fans, and we let a third person into our special friendship as we formed the school pop group of the moment.  We jazzed up all the hymns at the school assembly and were inseparable until we left and went our separate ways.

More than sixty-five years later, we lived in separate parts of the country and only ever talked occasionally.  There was a time when we hardly ever met up except when our birthdays or Christmas came around, but the telephone kept the lines of communication open. 

Then there was the day that our newest member died and left just the two of us again.  That was a real shock, but despite all we have done in our lives since, we remaining two are closer than ever, even though our relationship involves a lot of video and telephone calls these days.  

Visiting is a special occasion, and despite all the other friendships we have made through our different lines of work and walks of life, we still regard each other as best friends.   We can talk about the natural and more immediate dilemmas that we each face because we know each other so well, and our opinions will never be clouded by the fact that we know the people each are talking about.  Our memories of our friend no longer with us give us another bond.  

It is often said that we change friends as we go through life, and I have many friends that I was close to when I worked with them, or we found ourselves in the same social setting, but I think my best friend will always be my oldest friend. 

Friends are the most important gift you can have as you get older, which triggered my reason for needing to write something on the subject.  I know who my best friend is but often wonder if we need more close ones as we get older.

I found an online quiz or two on the subject and thought it might be fun to share them so that, even though the questions are often written for a much younger generation, my fellow readers can work out a little more about what kind of best friend they are.

MF, Lewisham.

MF offers some online questionnaires related to this subject.

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