Dear LPG readers,

I have a story to tell that I am only happy to relate to because LPG has promised me that no one will ever know that I am telling it. I hope it might answer a question or two that a few of us ask ourselves occasionally. 

This happened when I was very much younger and a mum who worked part-time in the evenings for a bit of extra money.  Thank goodness for grannies; I had my children and a bedroom at her house to fall back on, and I used to work in a factory for a while.   It was all good; I made some of the best working colleagues I ever had, but the loo was not the most hygienic I had ever seen.  It was somewhere you did not want to go unless you absolutely had to.  Back then, my pelvic floor muscles were a lot more well practised in the art of keeping unneeded fluids contained.  It only took me a few weeks to teach them to hold onto whatever until I got home. I am not the only one who will agree that you would be surprised at what you can prepare yourself for subconsciously.

It became a part of my routine. My shift ended at 11 p.m., and I had a small car to drive home. The sight of my front door became the trigger that produced that sense of urgency, which left me fighting with time and the key on a nightly basis, while making for my little room as quickly as possible so that those muscles could relax.

But there was one evening when I got home and got out of the car with the key ready.  Getting the key in the door lock had always been challenging in the dark, but it was as if my system could cope with that.   This particular night, I put the whole key in the lock, but there was a little ‘plick’ sound. I pulled it out to look, only to realise that only half was attached to the keyring, and the door remained locked.  No one was home; not everyone had a mobile phone back then.  I remember getting to the nearest phone box and phoning my mum, who could not understand what I was trying to say.

Ten agonising minutes later, I was at her front door, and she was up and ready to greet me. However, I remember running straight past her on my way to her little room and…. serious relief. What happened the day after involved locksmiths and a lot of money, but it left me thinking.  

I thank God that, to date, it has never happened since, but nowadays, I don’t think that my pelvic floor muscles possess that level of strength, and I seem to want to go as soon as I drink anything. 

I often wondered how I could practise that level of restraint, but it also got me wondering why only the sight of my front door late at night triggered the urgency of my need to get where I was going.

Just talking about it might inspire some folk as we age, and holding your water can be a serious problem.           

I felt the need to wait at the time because of the state of the loo where I worked. Now that I am older, I get caught short and need the loo more often. I looked on the internet and learned that there is a condition called Latchkey Incontinence, and running water can also be a reason for such subconscious inspiration. 

I just thought it might be good to know…   

XX, Lewisham

XX offers some information about conditions that might make going to the loo a case of mind over matter…

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