Dear LPG

By the time LPG readers get to see this article I hope that at least a year will have gone but I felt that I needed to write it as a message in preparation for next Christmas.

One of the things that interests me most is statistics and, though this particular bit of information I found is about five years old now, I recently discovered a few online numbers that got my brain ticking over a little.  

Did you know that in 2018, only 17% of pensioners were looking to leave the homes that their families grew up in and downsize?  That is very general and we have to take into consideration our health and ability to do all the cleaning needed to make that possible.  I have to say that I did not read any further or look for any information about those who have to or are forced to, but the number 17 used in that context gave me a little food for thought.

I suppose that the time will eventually come when my feelings on this subject might change, but the thought of leaving the home where my family grew up is something I hope will never happen.  There are just the two of us now but every time I go into the little study room and the one we now use as a spare room; I remember when they were our children’s bedrooms.    

When they were really young, those four walls represented our castle and a place where all the disagreements and happy times that we experienced happened.  There were many arguments about how untidy they were while those growing little ones protested somewhat.    Their dad was out working all hours and it was our little world.  As they got a bit older I would spend time arguing about how untidy they were and I cannot pretend not to have had misgivings about some of the friends that they would invite to invade our space, while they protested somewhat about the rules that we parents kept on imposing.   

Then suddenly our teenagers and their parents were all doing our own thing most of the time while the house was the place that we treated a bit like Clapham junction station.  I often remember back then, looking forward to the day when there was a little more peace, everything had its place and it all looked a bit tidier.  

It finally happened, when we retired and there were just two of us left to enjoy it for a bit, and as we get older we seem to appreciate the quiet more too.  Of course, the children are all older now with their own young families but, for some reason when they phone and I can hear the arguments about who was first and what ‘mummy won’t allow’ happening in the background I find a quiet little smile forming on my face.  Every time I hear what is happening behind one of my mother/ grown-up child telephone conversations, I remember being arbitrator when there were only two children to consider and I seriously appreciate the something special about being able to hear and remember sibling rivalry from afar.  

So my husband and I now live in relative peace and quiet most of the time, but once or twice a year it is good to get them all together.  I cannot help but remember how disruptive the chaos that my two children used to cause from time to time before anticipating the increased disruption that the added grandchildren’s banter will generate.

Christmas is a time for such a gathering and it is not until the day before all the preparation, that I remember what I am in for. The Chaos I sometimes thought unbearable when my two were young will be seriously augmented when the grandchildren are all together. The odd plant will get smashed, there will be cake and biscuits left on the floor, there will be so much washing up to do that it will take at least a couple of days to get through it and everything put away and the noise will crescendo to worrying levels.  

But on the other hand Grandma and Grandad’s opinion will count for just a bit, there might be time for a few one on one conversations although some of them may well have to be conducted at a somewhat loud volume or in the aforementioned study or spare room, and when they have all gone again, we will be left with that fuzzy warm feeling…  

I am sure that I am not the only grandma who is still washing and tidying up days after the visit and I hope that I am not the only one that thinks it is nice to get the chaos out of the phone and into the house occasionally…

GM, Brockley