Dear LPG readers,

Unfortunately, my story is a typical one that many pet-loving pensioners will have some experience with. I established a house-share with a new friend when I was newly retired and alone. I first considered getting a dog. I thought it would be a loyal friend and a reason to get up and out every day, but I started my living-alone journey when I was working and soon realised that all the spare time I thought I would have, got lost in an equally busy retirement.

The next best thing had to be a cat, and I found two to adopt simultaneously.  I had them for seven years before the inevitable happened.  One got ill, and when I took her to the vet, they told me that the kindest thing would be to say goodbye.  

At the outset, I decided to have two cats because I knew how upsetting that news would make me whenever I had to hear it, and I thought that, at least, I would have one to commiserate with, but she was as bereft as me.  She stopped eating properly and would not use the water bowl she had shared with her housemate ever since moving in. She used the cat flap so often that it swung nearly as frequently as a fan in hot weather, and she refused to sit on the garden windowsill where they spent so many sunny mornings together.  I soon decided that we both needed a new friend, and it took a month, but I adopted one.  

We adopted a black-and-white wonder from a local cat charity about a month ago, and they are slowly becoming friends.  Getting to know her new housemate has had its challenges, but at least my bereaved cat is not pining as much as it did a month ago.  I was warned that it would be a process, but while they are still a bit weary of each other, their inquisitiveness and learning to share the territory has been a learning curve for all three of us. Things are slowly coming together.  I can’t imagine how learning to live with a new cat made the one feel, but it stopped her from pining for her lost friend.  Watching her go in and out while being kept in has not been the most satisfying way of life for our ‘newbie’ either.  He has had to cope with leaving his previous home, a spell in a cage while with the charity, fitting into our existing way of life and getting to know his new housemate simultaneously.

I was told that before we let him out, we would need to keep the new one in for at least a month so that he would know where home is and learn his bearings, but now the time has come, and I am worried about whether he will come back. 

I am truly worried about opening that back door for the first time. However, I have been online and found lots of information about getting it right. The last time I had to do this, I had two cats that already knew how to live with each other, and one did not have to spend a month watching the other come and go as she pleased.

I started by saying that I know this is not just my story.  I do not doubt that thousands of cat owners have to let their newly-acquired pet out for the first time every day and, for all the advice that I have been given, the care that the charity took when finding us a cat that would be happy to share with a housemate, the fact that he is chipped, and all the advice that I was given about keeping him in for a month and what to do next, I know that there are no guarantees once the door is open.  

I deliberately wrote this down before I put the key in the lock because I have to assume that it will all go well, but once I have done the deed, I hope that the real fear that I feel now, before doing it, will all disappear a bit later today.  It is so easy not to realise how worrying it is until you get to the point of actually doing it, and once, please God, it is all over. It will be forgotten by all parties as quickly as it presents itself. I may learn something that is not included in all the self-education I have read online, and if so, I will write again, but I have put in the work and learned all I can; later today, it will be time to do the deed.   

I don’t know how it will go, but both my pets are microchipped, and having read all the information I can and acted on it, today is the day that I leave the back door open for a bit and hope for the best… 

IG, Bellingham

IG shares some related online education…

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