Dear LPG readers,

Without gossiping or saying anything harsh about one of your close friends, how would you describe him or her to another who has not met them yet.  You may well ask me why such a weird question entered my head.  The answer to that query can best be delivered with a short story that goes like this…

I recently found myself at an exhibition which I attended with one of my friends, and while there we found ourselves interested in different displays.   While looking around, I met another friend who I would never have expected to meet there, she knew me but not the friend I was with.  The friend I had arrived with was on the other side of that hall when I realised that the one I was talking to had arrived alone.  I offered to introduce the latter to the former, who I will admit was dressed somewhat normally for her but somewhat uniquely for the occasion and, when I pointed her out, I was asked the question of the day, “What sort of person is she then?”

The question stopped me in my tracks for just a moment.  It never entered my head that I would ever have to answer that question.  There was little point in answering with a physical description of her because that had already been taken care of.  I found myself trying to work out how to say the right thing.

Trying to find the right thing to say about her left me with a question that I feel we all need to ask ourselves from time to time; ‘what do my friends really think about me?’

Finding the right thing to say about one of your friends is hard enough and, being put in that position left me pondering.   I found myself wondering what my friends would have to say about me if the situation table was turned. 

It is easy to think that your friends’ assessment of your character would be much the same as yours, but can you be sure of that?  We will all have a few traits that we are sure that we don’t even let everyone know about and there will be the odd less-than-flattering but same description of some aspect of you mentioned by more than one friend on more than one separate occasion?   By the time we get to an age where this website might interest us, there will also be some aspects of our personalities that have changed quite a bit while others won’t have.  

My friends tell me that I try to give the impression that I am a relatively naive person when someone meets me initially, but those that know me best can see right through that façade, after all, no one can get to their seventh decade without learning a few things.  

We have all heard the term ‘duel personality’ but I think that when God distributes our predestined character traits, he leaves us with a very complex mixture of the things and, as we grow up, we get the opportunity to tweak them using the experiences and scenarios that we encounter along the way.  

Perhaps one moral to be found in what I am trying to say is that, when we are the forewarned stranger coming into any introduction, we each need to make up our own minds about the people we are meeting because, ultimately our own personality traits will always have a bearing on the way we see theirs… 

Perhaps an independent assessment could be a way forwards when working out what others might say when describing you.  But where do you find someone who has yet to meet you for the first time.  I recently wondered what Google might offer as a personal calculation of me on first ‘electronic’ meeting.  I have asked LPG to leave a few links to help any interested reader do the same…  

PN, Surrey.

PN has found a few online quizzes that might help with your self-assessment…

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