Dear LPG readers,

So many of us oldies find that those beloved grandchildren, if we have any, become a distant memory as they get a bit older.  For the first twelve or so years they are really close.  So many of my friends, me included, find our retired selves back at the school gates each weekday morning and afternoon delivering and collecting the little ones while their mums and dads are free to work a little longer in the knowledge that their babies are safe, if we live close enough.

I remember standing outside the school gates on many an occasion with aching legs and thoughts of that day when we grandparents would no longer need to be there; and the irony is that the end of primary school comes all too quickly.   The September comes when the last one changes to secondary school and your services are no longer needed.  

The not so little ones get busier, you get older and those telephone calls to grandma and grandpa become a little less regular.  It happens so gradually, their schoolwork and college work turns into a job and young family of their own which involves hard work and so much time that time for us oldies gets squeezed to the limit.  

The irony is that that is when we could do with their help as housework, the garden and shopping becomes more of a challenge, but we remember when we were that age and how busy we were.  

They do spare a little time though and I recently talked with a friend who told me how lucky she was that her grandson occasionally asks her to the supermarket so that she can get those groceries that are too heavy for her to carry.  She told me that there is a down side though.  He doesn’t ever rush her and is there to do all the carrying but, as they make the journey round the shelves the basket acquires a lot of things she did not actually want, and then when you get to the till, your bill calculations a doubled.  Funnily enough that used to happen to me too.  We came to the conclusion that grandsons have a habit of popping this and that into the shopping trolley which they always promise to pay for while the actual paying gets lost somewhere on the way home.  

She told me that the last time they made a visit, her estimated bill was doubled and as the items came off the conveyer belt he promised to pay for his but again did not deliver on his pledge.  A cab would be cheaper because, by the time you give him a little towards the petrol and with the extra shopping which comes to a lot more than you bargained for, at least she sees her grandson.

One problem is that he packs the shopping bags while she pays for everything and it all gets mixed up on the bill which makes sorting out the cost a problem; but I have found a solution.

She just needs to put two of those separating splitter triangular bars down on the checkout belt before they start stacking the shopping.  Put his stash in the first section and yours in the second as they get popped on. Then, when you get to the end of the first section get the cashier to add a subtotal to the bill.  Then you will at least know exactly how much he has spent.  

I have a theory that it nearly always happens when the boys are in their early twenties.  They have got their first job, just learned to drive, got the statement car and are sure that we grandparents are financially loaded with nothing to spend it on.

When they are faced with a real amount to pay back it is harder for them to get out of it.  It works for me, and I have noticed that less of those extra bits get chucked in the basket these days…   

FM, Southwark